Lads, we have finished the year with two straight defeats against two of the best teams in the league, and sure, we’re all disappointed not to get something from these games and to drift towards the dreaded realm of “mid-table mediocrity” but we will hopefully return to the league with a full-strength squad in 2015 and get some wins. In the meantime, we have much to be proud of – for those who have arrived this season, earlier this year, the Saints were stuck in what seemed like an endless rut—dubbed the “Season of Perpetual Crisis”. We were unable to win games, unable to draw games, and just generally not enjoying our football (if still enjoying a right old knees up on the weekend regardless; nope, no link whatsoever there).
So here’s an appreciation for what has still been a great campaign so far in bringing back some of the feel good factor to training and playing TOP FLIGHT low level amateur football in the suburbs of Ho Chi Minh Ville since the beginning of this season.
Many thanks and much appreciation must be channelled towards our captain, the Gallant Knight of Nottinghamshire, Steve “Half-Marathon Man” Shaw and vice-captain Ben “Never run a half-marathon, Never will run a half-marathon, don’t even say the words half-marathon or I’ll puke” Hulbert for all their hard work and calmness. And here’s to the rest of you, all of whom continue to ensure the Saigon Saints are by a stretch the best and most merry band of footballers in the land. What other team has a player who never plays but who can dress up as a 75-year-old Vietnamese granny, direct traffic at 8am and get 18,000 (and counting) likes on Facebook? What other team has a fearless centre-back who can always find the Bermuda triangle and demands conversations on literature in Little Xu’s bar at 2am? Who else has a playmaking centre-midfielder unafraid to make agricultural tackles for no reason or wear a tight t-shirt with a floral pattern on the town? Or a left-sided midfielder from Yorkshire who wears a tweed cap in a tropical country? Or a Scottish right back who can LITERALLY put them on a plate only for the striker to always be in the wrong place at the wrong time, again, and again, and again? Or a vice-captain who vomits all over the bar when it’s time to go home? Or a modest man from Limerick who when he gets his Weetabix-to-Stomach ratio right is CLOSE TO UNSTOPPABLE? Or a Great American Patriot who watches Pearl Harbour before going to play Japan F.C.? Or a flying Belgian with a fantastic pair of blue shorts who is moving to Singapore but loves us so much he’s going to come back every weekend and play for the Saints before going on a pub crawl that involves always arriving where his girlfriend has just left? Or a Chairman whose nickname is Peado and is unafraid to grow a pencil thin moustache for Mo-vember? Or an Iraqi-Englishman unafraid to declare that he is possibly the most handsome Saint in the squad and always wants to take his top off so WE CAN SEE THE GUNS? Or three very well-behaved, dynamic young players who always arrive late because they were really busy doing their homework or helping old ladies cross the road? Or a silky-skilled, fleet-footed and most importantly BEARDED midfielder who lovingly and tenderly assists our injured and “off-the-rails” striker home and pays for the taxi after said striker lost his motorbike and wallet? Or an always-injured player who never fails to come and do the subs and organises hedonistic international tours to the most debauched parts of Thailand? Or a Liverpudlian centre-back who FEARLESSLY strides into bars with magnificent mustard coloured shorts? Or a young French butcher and a baby-faced Australian who might just be the quietest, sneakiest operators of us all, and who clearly should be paying more for misdemeanours? Or, last but not least, a goalkeeper who has his own exclusive sponsorship deal with the Spotted Cow and is off to detox in the Middle-East and maybe get a new hip, and maybe make some cash, and then USE that return ticket to return to his spiritual homeland of Pham Ngu Lao? Or that person who I have tragically overlooked and is now slightly miffed that they didn’t get a mention? Yeah, that guy/ you!
Oh… AND WHO ELSE HAS A HIGHLY-LUCRATIVE SPONSORSHIP DEAL WITH THE WORLD’S GREATEST SPORTS BAR GAME ON!?
That’s right! No one else has any of this! Only the Saints have all this and more which is why we’re the best and everyone else isn’t, and which is why they even look miserable when they win.
So well done everyone and here’s to 2015 being a cracker on and off the pitch.
Webmaster over and out!